Mixed feelings and confused

We were once strangers in each others life. We got to know each other, you made your move. We became friends. We had our moment of silence for quite sometimes. But we couldn't stay away from each other for too long. Somehow we manage to get hold of one another. We got closer and you were always helping me get back on my feet every time I felt so down and things weren't going the way I planned. My friends kept telling me to be careful. My parents are always worried about who I be friends with. A part of me trust you, but, the rest me just keeps refusing.  Scared of getting hurt by the people I trust most like always. So now, I don't know where we are or what our current status is. I hate the way you make me feel. I hate the fact that I can't be without you even for a second. Feeling like I need you when ever I'm upset and down. Even at times that i'm happy I feel like sharing the joy and happiness with you. I hate that I care about you so much. I hate the habit of checking my phones every single minute. I hate that I'm always hoping it's you whenever my phone rings. I hate this heart for not letting you go when you gave me all the reasons for me to hate you and let you go. I hate myself for being so forgiving. But then again, there are so many things about you that I like. The fact that you're always giving me advice. Always knowing what to say make me feel better. Always looking out for me. Understand me when no one else could. And hear me cry without asking me to stop halfway even if its just through the phone. For always being always being patient with me. Thank You :) And now I'm confused and I have mixed feeling about you. Not something I like in any *relationship.





P.s. RELATIONSHIP does not always mean and boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. What I meant to say is any relationship, it could simply mean; friendship, family or even colleagues. Please don't get the wrong idea. TQ :)