Secrecy is burden

No matter how much I care about you, there are still so many things that I can't tell you. Even if this heart is dying to tell you everything. Still ... I can't, I won't, I refuse to. Some of it is because I don't want you to get hurt. But the rest is simply because I still don't trust you. I'm sorry. No matter how hard I try, I just can't. Just when I thought I could, you'd do something to make me take it all back. It's so difficult. I just wish you'd show me that I could trust you with my secret. I trust you, but not completely. I believe that I'd be safe when I'm with you. It's just this secrecy thing. I'm keeping my secrets, you're keeping yours, neither of us is willing to hurt each other. Both scared that one way or another if the secret is told, we will no longer be this close. I've cried once through the phone because of you, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have. You must have felt guilty. I'm sorry. I guess that's why you're not telling me everything lately. Everything would be "okeyh", "never mind" or "forget it, I'm fine" everytime I asked you if you were okeyh, that would be you're answer. I'm taken aback by all these. That is why I'm not telling you much. I feel it's unfair that I tell you everything, but you don't tell me anything. Why should I let you carry the burden of my secret alone, when I can't help carry yours? That is why I feel that I should carry the burden of my secrets alone. Secrecy is burden I should carry for my self alone and no one else.